The art of performance

Should it ever really be this simple?

"Shut the f*ck up, I'm trying to play!! Why bother going to see an ARTIST if you're just gonna talk through my set?" ...and later... "This is my last song. It's dedicated to the woman at the back who has TALKED LOUDLY over every song. Bitch."

Tell you what. I've started to get a bit fed up with singer-songwriter types. I totally get the whole 'captivate your audience' philosophy. Hey, whatever floats your boat, right? But most of you guys think that just because you're on stage singing earnestly about how "he left her in the morning without any warning", then you're automatically doing something a bit more TRUE than other musicians, and therefore are deserving of more respect.

Here's the news. Most of you are automatically boring*. And the ones that have the gall to chastise your audience for making up their own minds about you and voting with their feet are the worst of the lot.

The art of performance lesson #32: COMMAND your audience's attention, don't DEMAND it.

*By 'boring' I don't mean simple. Because simplicity in music is truly something which should be sought after! What I'm talking about is the constant recourse to the same tired old themes, often told from the same tired old perspective in exactly the same way as every other fucker. It's as though as soon as you pick up the guitar, you're suddenly incapable of distinguishing between universal appeal and turgid banality.